Overthonking, like overthinking but being in the know

Am I the only one that thinks my cats can understand what I'm saying and can read my thoughts?
I'll call one over to the sofa and then feel bad that the other one will think I love this one more. So I make a big deal of telling the other cat that they are welcome too but that they're probably better off where they are next to the radiator because it's warmer. But now the other cat is going to be thinking that I'm just saying that so that she won't come over as I don't really want her to sit with me, and the cat on my knee is thinking h's not good enough because I'm trying to get the other cat to come sit with me instead. I seriously overthonk* things.

I often think my husband can hear what my head voices are saying too. I've tried to test that theory on a few occasions by saying something really gross or awful. He never even flinches but I thinks that's all part of his game.

*that was a typo but I left it because why not? Overthonk is a way cooler word than overthink. It's like overthinking, but for crazy people who know they're overthinking but still can't stop. World, you're welcome.

Have my lips, I put them somewhere safe

I’ve spent some time lately wondering what I’d look like without lips. I’d like to think that if I was to lose* them I’d be ok. I look like a cross between my son trying to look ugly and a startled version of me. My husband isn’t so convinced. Its ok, he’ll come round with time. I think I’d look better with a fringe if I had no lips though, would help to make my eyes pop. They need some help if they’re going to compete with the in your face sight of my wonky gnashers.

*I’m not sure how I’d lose my lips, I’m not suggesting they’d just fall off, but perhaps I’d take them off at night like some people take their teeth out and put them in a jar. The mistake would then be to put them ‘some place safe’ because we all know that’s code for ‘never to be seen again’. For the record, I think some place safe is the same place that socks and tupperwear hide. Not the lids though, I have a bizzilion of those bastard lids.