A vagina can't kill a spider

Things I've learnt today:

No matter how hard you try, some people can’t be helped. And some people are just complete and utter dick heads. Yes the latter. Definitely the latter.

You can’t wear dungarees to work without being paranoid every time you go to the loo that people are going to think you are doing a number 2. Those things take time to get on and off people. It involves layers, and tucking, and buckles. Too much clothing related stress. Better to keep it in and limit toilet breaks. At least wait until you need a number 2 and make it worth your effort.

My bum itches sometimes. And it doesn’t have to mean you have worms. Just to clarify I don’t. Do I?

Not everyone is ok with you saying the word vagina to them. There certainly is a limit to the number of times you can say the word vagina to your 11 year old son in a row before other people in the coffee shop look at you funny. For the record that number is 16, but by that point the words were merging into one long noise so I really don’t know what their problem was. You also need to choose carefully who you say vagina to at work. They don’t so much like it either. They look at you with that disappointing frown like you just spat at them or killed their favourite spider. 

VAGINA!